


Reminiscence and Regrets #1

by KawaiiGroovycat



Series: Reminiscence and Regrets [1]
Category: New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: Angst, F/M, Originally Published on Wattpad, Regrets, Reminiscence, Saiaka, experimenting with saihara's character a bit, saiede, saimatsu - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-24
Updated: 2018-03-24
Packaged: 2019-04-07 04:50:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,282
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14073252
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KawaiiGroovycat/pseuds/KawaiiGroovycat
Summary: Saihara would have to live with the things he had said for the rest of his life.





	Reminiscence and Regrets #1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, I'm KawaiiGroovycat. You may know me on Wattpad or Discord by the same name. I just decided to post this oneshot that I wrote for Valentine's Day on here.

 

Just an hour before, Kaede Akamatsu and been alive and smiling, working to end the killing game and save everyone. Just a few hours before, she had given Shuichi an encouraging pep talk to boost his confidence. But now, she was crushed into nothing, executed for having killed their friend Rantaro Amami, without even meaning to. She had been trying to kill the mastermind behind their imprisonment- and poor Rantaro had just happened to take the killing blow.

It was all yesterday's news to Shuichi now. He could still remember when Kaede forced him to convict her. He still wanted to deny it, that his dear friend was the culprit and that she would have to die, but the truth was that he had figured it out before the trial had even started. It hit him like a baseball bat to his head: her suspicious behavior when they had gone around the school to grab supplies to trap the mastermind, and how she took forever to rearrange those books. It all came together and sucker punched him: Kaede had betrayed him. He trusted her, and she took advantage of that trust and killed someone right in front of his eyes, all while trying to hide the fact that the evidence traced back to her.

He had been furious, angrily demanding to know why she had killed Rantaro. But then he realized that she was going to die, and he completely broke down. But that anger never faded. Instead, he took it out on her, angrily yelling about how hurt he was, and how horrible she was, despite knowing deep down what her motivations were. But at that moment, he didn't care. His feelings were fighting each other: his anger at her for betraying him, his sadness when he realized that she was going to die, and the constant questions that lingered in his mind: should he have trusted Kaede? Should he have done what she had said and revealed the truth? How will he carry on her wish?

And then she died. Asphyxiated, stoned, and crushed right at the end. He had reached out to her as the chains pulled her up, up, and away. But it was in vain: she still got dragged to her death. And brutally executed in front of everyone's shocked and devastated eyes.

He couldn't fight back against Monokuma, couldn't say a damn thing to him. He couldn't carry on her wish. His stomach was still sore from when Kaito and sucker punched some sense into him. He didn't get angry, he couldn't even react. Even when everyone else was reprimanding Kaito, he still said nothing. Because he knew that he deserved it, for being a fool, for being a pathetic detective, for being a failure to Kaede and not manning up and vowing to end the game. He wished it were all a lie: that Rantaro hadn't died, and that Kaede wasn't a murderer. That there was no time limit. That he hadn't had to convict his friend.

Contrary to her character, Tenko offered Shuichi a hand, and helped him to his feet.

"D-don't beat yourselves up too hard, kay, Shuichi?" she nervously referred to him, and the now deceased pianist.

"S-sure..." That was all he had managed to reply.

The other students sullenly boarded the elevator, leaving Shuichi and Kaito behind in the trial room.

"Shuichi..." Kaito said, "I don't know how well you knew Kaede, or even how close you were, but...why don't you try going to her research lab and sorting out your feelings there?"

"What do you mean?" Shuichi replied.

"Well, Monokuma set that room up, so there's not really anything to remember her by, but...there should be a bunch of little things she liked."

"Things...Kaede liked...?"

"You see, there's only one way for you to sort out these awful feelings. Nobody here is going to be able to fix this for you. The only thing you can do is confront her, in your memories, and forgive both her and yourself."

"...I'll do it," Shuichi said, as he and Kaito went their separate ways.

Once the elevator stopped, Shuichi left, and walked and walked and walked until he found himself standing in front of the door to her research lab, which was decorated with piano keys and silver music notes. His hand trembling, he placed his fingers around the doorknob and pushed the door open.

Inside the lab, the first thing Shuichi saw was a grand piano. Grand certainly described it well. He wished he could have heard her play it, even just once. Then, he remembered it. That song Kaede was talking about! It had to be among one of the many CDs here!

As he skimmed through the CDs on the shelf, he caught a glimpse of a pink paper. Curious, he pulled it out. It was an envelope, closed by a big red heart sticker. Shuichi carefully peeled back the sticker and opened the envelope, while simultaneously grabbing the Clair De Lune CD and putting it into a CD player.

He pulled out the paper as the song played. Inside was a folded sheet of paper, which he unfolded to discover a full page of beautiful handwriting.

_Kaede...wrote this?_ Shuichi thought to himself, as he started to read the note.

_So, if you're reading this, Shuichi, then I am no longer alive. I failed. I couldn't get to the mastermind. I don't expect you or anyone else to forgive me. I know that this is all my fault. I'm sorry, Shuichi. Most of all, I betrayed you. You had a plan to capture the mastermind. You trusted me without a single shred of doubt. And I took advantage of that and used you to try and achieve my own goals. And worst of all, I didn't even kill the mastermind. I killed a dear friend. I'm a shitty friend, and a shitty person. I wouldn't have been surprised if you were to get angry, lash out at me when you found the truth. In fact, I would've been even more surprised if you hadn't. Once again, I am so, so sorry, for hurting you, and for starting the killing game. But now, you're the only person I know who can find out the truth behind this killing game and end it. I'll be leaving everything up to you, if that's okay. You can do this. I believe in you. That is my final wish._

_Love,_

_Kaede Akamatsu_

"Kaede..."

_I knew all this already. Deep down inside, I knew, I even said it myself. She wasn't a selfish person. She didn't kill to save herself. Why, Kaede?! Why do you always think about everyone except yourself?!_

Shuichi thought that there was nothing left in him to cry about. He was wrong.

_If you had been even a little bit selfish...you wouldn't have had to kill anyone..._

"I...forgive you..." Shuichi muttered the hardest words he had ever had to say.

But it didn't matter anymore. She was dead. Gone. Forever. She would never come back. Shuichi would never get to say those words to her face, or thank her, or apologize to her for being so horrible to her right before she died. He thought that his biggest regret had been revealing the truth all that time ago. Convicting someone who was just trying to get closure over his family's death. Now, his biggest regret would be revealing the truth now, convicting his closest friend, and acting like the victim like such a huge jerk. And he would have to live with that for the rest of his life. He had brought this upon himself.

**Author's Note:**

> Upupupupu...are you in despair yet~?


End file.
